Beautiful Heartbreak...31 Days of Creating with Meaning

Have you ever heard the saying

"If we all threw our problems in a pile 

and saw everyone else's, 

we'd grab ours back." 

That's what I thought of when I saw this video of the new song by Hillary Weeks:

One of the women in this video is Mariama Kallon, whose history was filled with terror, heartbreak, and tragedy. When I heard her speak At the Nauvoo Women's Retreat two and a half years ago, she was such a sweet, smiling, and sincere woman. But her story was horrific. To say there was not a dry eye in the room is an understatement. The tears of empathy that were shed for her and her family flowed freely and unchecked; there weren't enough handkerchiefs or kleenex available to catch them all. Through her trials and tribulations, hope shone through like the carrot dangling just out of reach. She followed that carrot of hope to a new life, one she hadn't dared dream of, and ended up serving a mission at The Salt Lake Temple square and speaking and writing about her life.  Miriama is truly resilient.  She would pray each day to see the night, and then pray every night to see the next day.  Can you imagine living your life like that?  Never knowing if or when you or your loved ones will be killed or tortured?

The other woman in the video is Stephanie Nielsen who was burned in a plane accident. She had such a will to live for her kids and her husband, and has made huge strides in recovering from the accident.

Now back to the quote at the top. My mom and I have talked about this many times, whenever one of us has been struggling with something.  I think that there is a lot of truth in that statement, even if I change it to:

"If we all threw our problems, 

trials, tribulations, tragedies,

addictions, afflictions, illnesses, injuries, issues,

disappointments, disabilities, disillusionments, 

and struggles 

in a pile 

and saw everyone else's, 

we'd grab ours back." 

One reason is because we know we can handle it.  We ARE handling it, or dealing with it, or attempting to deal with it.  It's not exchanging that problem with someones lack of problems, it would be taking on a whole NEW issue.  A new battle.  I hope I can take my battles and turn them into Beautiful Heartbreaks.

The REAL Hope and Change...

You can read last year's post about 9/11 and Joe's birth day here.

The Times In Which We Live...

I've been reading this article "The Times In Which We Live"  after hearing the talk again on the internet radio station. I remember well the feelings I had while listening to these words the first time, just weeks after the attacks on 9/11.  I can still feel my heart jump to my throat when I heard these words:  "a U.S. missile attack is under way."

These words reassured me:  "We are people of peace. We are followers of the Christ who was and is the Prince of Peace. But there are times when we must stand up for right and decency, for freedom and civilization."

They made me think:  "As we have been continuously counseled for more than 60 years, let us have some food set aside that would sustain us for a time in case of need. But let us not panic nor go to extremes. Let us be prudent in every respect. And, above all, my brothers and sisters, let us move forward with faith in the Living God and His Beloved Son."

 They lifted my spirit.  "Are these perilous times? They are. But there is no need to fear. We can have peace in our hearts and peace in our homes. We can be an influence for good in this world, every one of us."

I agreed with them, and still do:  “Religion offers no shield for wickedness, for evil, for those kinds of things. The God in whom I believe does not foster this kind of action. He is a God of mercy. He is a God of love. He is a God of peace and reassurance, and I look to Him in times such as this as a comfort and a source of strength.”

They gave me counsel:  "As we have been continuously counseled for more than 60 years, let us have some food set aside that would sustain us for a time in case of need. But let us not panic nor go to extremes. Let us be prudent in every respect. And, above all, my brothers and sisters, let us move forward with faith in the Living God and His Beloved Son."

And I am thinking about these things again as the people of Japan are struggling to make sense of their new reality. I am amazed by the dignity and  We feel helpless, like we can't do much, but we are going to send some blankets here to be sent on to Japan to hopefully warm some hearts along with some feet. Contact Juli at julinewman@gmail.com if you can help.

One more quote:  "Let us be prayerful. Let us pray for righteousness. Let us pray for the forces of good. Let us reach out to help men and women of goodwill, whatever their religious persuasion and wherever they live."

The people of Japan are in my prayers, as are my brother-in-law Mark, who is over there, and Elder Voss who is serving a mission from our ward.  Be safe.

Happy Birthday, Stinker!

Nine years old.  Wow.  I know I say this all the time, but I can't believe how fast the time has flown.

Saturday night we were sitting at Nonni's watching a special about the 9/11 attacks on the History channel.  It brought so many memories back.  September 11, 2001 was your due date.  Grammie was flying in that day, and we were just waking up when the telephone rang at 6:00 a.m.  It was your aunt Emily telling us to turn on the TV because there was something wrong in New York City.  I turned on the news, and there it was.  The north tower of the World Trade Center had a gaping hole in it and was burning.  An airplane had hit it.  Was it a freak accident?  A small plane that the pilot had somehow lost control of?

Then, still confused and watching the building on the TV screen, we see the second plane.  It looks like any other commercial airplane, only it is circling around and slams into the other tower. 

It felt so surreal, like we were in a movie, or we were watching a movie.

Then a call from Grammie at the Kansas City airport; she was just boarding her flight to California when they shut down all of the flights.  She wasn't going to be leaving.  She ended up getting the first available flight as soon as planes were able to fly again a few days later.

The next few days were full of watching and waiting, tears for the fallen and the lost, and hunkering down with family, and waiting for you to arrive.

Then in the middle of all of that chaos and sorrow, there you were.  Like a little light shining in the darkness.

Grammie arrived just minutes after you were born.  We weren't going to let those damn terrorists stop us from living life to the fullest.

So that day will forever be tangled up with the day you were born, but you were my lifeline toggling me to the present and the beautiful miracle of life.  Happy birthday.  I love you!

Vigilante Mom Ellie Nesler has died

Most of the time I don't post about things like this, but after reading this article I was so SAD about the way Ellie Nesler's life, and the life of her son William, had taken so many bad turns. Unfotunately it was from choices that she made. I rememer first hearing about her on the news after she shot and killed her child's molester in the courtroom. As the Fox News article says, "Some hailed her for exacting her own justice, while others condemned her for taking the law into her own hands."

When this incident happened in 1993 I was graduating from high school, and even at that age I knew that she had done no favors for her son and other children by depriving them of their mother while she had to serve time for this crime. That's not even including the time spent in jail for her drug charges almost ten years later.

Then there's this (also taken from the article): Meanwhile, her son got into legal troubles of his own and was convicted of first-degree murder in 2005 for stomping to death a man hired to clean the family's property in Sonora. The 23-year-old said he believed David Davis was letting people pick through the family's belongings.

William Nesler killed Davis less than an hour after he was released from a 30-day sentence for an earlier assault on him. He is serving a 25-year-to-life sentence.

Apparently, and unfortunately, William Nesler did not learn from his mother's mistakes. It's just so sad.